Robo Hiker

Robot on Rock

I stumbled upon this distressed “robo hiker” near Bear Den. He had just completed the roller coaster and sat there massaging his feet. He stopped briefly to take a long drink from his Camelback and saw me taking his picture.  Without hesitation he handed me his ID card and permits. I glanced at them and laid them on the rock next to him.

As I started to walk away he explained he was anxiously waiting for a FEDEX package and needed to vent. Before I could reply he started complaining about the PUDS, day hikers and Giant Hogweed.  He bemoaned his addiction to Monster energy drinks, and his over reliance on frequent mail drops. He blamed the development team for his design flaws and the constant  software upgrades, replacement parts, and synthetic fluids.

“You have no idea what it’s like. Most days I can only hike 40 miles before having to recharge.  And on overcast days I’m lucky to get 100 KW per hour from these new battery cells.  And the imbeciles keep complaining about the poor data links and the unusable video stream and the maintenance budget. It’s not like I can do anything about them or the damn weather.”

When “big brown” pulled into the driveway he rushed off to claim his package. I would tell you he looked excited but you can never tell. His expressionless face and awkward gait were distracting. While other hikers gawked, I waved and yelled after him. I hope to see him again soon.


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