Zombie Taxidermy


I’m the only Zombie Taxidermist in the DC area.  As a wildlife biologist I’ve worked around dangerous animals most of my life. And I moonlight at a morgue so I’m use to the smell of decaying flesh and noxious body fluids. And being from DC I’m used to be surrounded by “brain-dead” politicians and lobbyists and tourists.

When the zombie apocalypse strikes everyone will want a snapping zombie head mounted on their wall. Especially if it’s the head of your whining ex-wife or obnoxious neighbor or local politician.

I still need to work out a few details, but its going to be the “next big thing”. I’m pretty sure the long pole in the tent will be obtaining a steady supply of intact zombie heads.  Who is going to want a zombie head with a bullet hole through the forehead, or one that’s been bashed in with a shovel.

As the training aid above shows the tried-and-true method is just tearing the head off. Zombies are deaf and blind and slow-moving so they can easily be ambushed from behind. It will be like tearing the head off a rotting rabid raccoon or other roadkill. And of course you will have to wear chain-male and a face shield and a respirator. Which reminds me I better stock up on these things.

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